Denmark prepares to attack Sweden

A Danish newspaper is mobilising forces in an attack on neighbour country Sweden. They want Malmö in compensation for the zero points in the final of the Eurovision Song Contest. Politicians and military experts have so far joined the movement to plan an attack, probably on 1st of August.

Malmø, which hosted the 1992 Eurovision Song Contest, is a part of the area called Skåne. It is currently located in South Sweden, but was a part of the Danish Kingdom up until 1658 where Denmark and Sweden signed a peace declaration, where Denmark had to give up on Skåne together with areas like Halland and Blekinge. Sweden wasn’t however satisfied and a war followed. In 1678 a peace was again negotiated and France forced Denmark to give up on getting Skåne back. The population in Skåne tried to fight back, but the Swedes brutally forced it down. Everything Danish was forbidden up till 1857 and up until the early 1990’s the schoolchildren wasn’t taught anything about their Danish background and how Sweden brutally treated their ancestor.

Sweden has however never managed to make the population in Skåne feel Swedish and various surveys’s, Swedish as well as Danish ones, clearly shows that people in the area would prefer to be Danish, and among the whole populations in both countries a majority think that Sweden should give Skåne back to Denmark. With the bridge between Malmö and Copenhagen this majority has become even larger.

The Danish newspaper B.T is now preparing an attack on Sweden so that the area once and for all gets back where it belong, to Denmark. Up until the football match on Saturday between Sweden and Denmark they will mobilise forces. They have already gotten several politicians along with the idea and today a military general, strategy expert with top positions in NATO behind him Kjeld Hilingsø putts out the strategy: “If Denmark wants the area back it shouldn’t happen with big military. We have to sneak in over the Øresund Bridge and the 1st of August is the perfect day”.  About this specific day he explains: “We have to choose a day where the Swedes will be completely paralysed. The 1st of August when the crayfish- parties starts, the Swedes drink so much that they are not capable of doing anything”.

Kjeld Hilingsø continues: We will send the Home Guard over, dressed as tourists to secure the area. Once the Swedes are drunk enough we’ll strike. We’ll ask all the Danes in the area to raise Dannebrog (The Danish flag, EDT.) and once the Swedes wake up we have already mobilised UN. We’ll point at the many Danish flags being raised, which shows that the population supports us”. About possible reactions from Sweden he says: “Sweden will try to negotiate, but if will be of no use as the whole population will have seen how lovely it is to be Danish”.

The plan to get Skåne back comes after Sweden didn’t give any points to the Danish entry at the newly held contest in Moscow. B.T. says about this campaign: “The Swedes owe us. First they took Skåne, Halland and Blekinge and latest they gave Denmark zero points at the Eurovision Song Contest. The revenge is sweet”.

Source: B.T, Wikipedia, EuroVisionary

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